effemural (poetry)

have I missed it have I missed it
where is my ephemeral madness
creeping in the back of my head
scream screech quiet peace
life uncomfortable
are these eyes dying
when does gravity stop
not scared
there wasis no purpose
isomptotes decay
thought the half life meant something
just a measure of time
in all her arbitrariness
sing song sang sing sung
peace is peaceis peace is
I am here here
But why

be an animal, YEAH
roar scream bite scratch YEAH
come on and let’s be alive YEAH
what has a generation lost in our mind?
we still be the hunter
I promise if I attack you
you will rip out my eyes
if given the chance
you’re an animal
you’re an animal

no linkage to the tone
except they are how they come from my finger
do you have a sense of purpose?
something that makes you wake up in the morning?
that would be nice nice
I feel somehow incomplete
little tell tale signs
people who find it hard to use a smart phone app
but can parallel park a car
people who notice smells I don’t
of course anyone with rhythym
and passion
and passion
and passion
those people who leap out of their chairs
because of a ball kicked on a field
those people who say I love you
I love you
I love you
and they mean it
my friends try to make me learn how to hug
I am learning
But I am not learning its purpose
I wonder the day
Where I suddenly lose my nerve
Fall under Gravity To The Floor
the floor floor through down
feel the heat cry sigh
I need to break down
but what if I don’t start up again
life as a linear journey
and the horizon plane
seems closer than it did

Self satisfied smug
Arrogant angry artificial
Stare at the mirror
And have your own face staring back at you
Is this who you are today
How was that boy
Love yourself
But remember
You by definition have lost yourself
Memories filed so deeply
Little triggers
Simcity 3000
The world having different borders
For all the terror they kept out
Safe and Safe and Safe
And shouldn’t everyone have a right to Safe
The world not at war
But still at war with the world
Not worried no more about disenchantment
Not worried about meaning / purpose
But still anxiety in my heart
Andxiety in my heart
Stare in the mirror
And see a mind at unpeace

this is where things are supposed to be brought together
a common thread shown to bring meaning out of the chaos
closure allowing us to move on
stutter brain
out of gear
into fear
seer beer leer Lear
I don’t pray for genius
But I do pray to produce good energy
I wish the best on your soul
And that even if the horizon plane is closer
You are wondrously in awe
Of being aware of seeing it

Fading (poetry)

Poetry as a form of rage
Poetry as a form of madness
My fingers in these keys
Thought I had forgotten
But what if this is what forgetting feels like
Empty mind
Wasted breaths
I used to have more fun being me
What is next
What is next
What is next
Types of fear
Types of madness
Don’t join my sadness
Why is there the need
Be yourself
It would be unfair
But it can be a north star
A way I can be safe too
Let me push you over the wall
The wall of my own ineptitude
The wall of my shortness
Push over
You find the sun
Find the sun
Find the sun
Haha, maybe I take a light touch of your bum
I do have to push you, you know?
But, I’m about to disappear
Screams of humanity
Walls crashing down
Fuck it all
And fuck me too, that’s fine
I knew forever I would disappear,
So, fade away
Dream away
Fuck the world away
I am looking forward to being a tree again
Or a molecule of gas in a vacuum
Float, drift away
The problem was that I hoped I would exist more than this
I had a strong assumption
That this would be the life where I matter
Prayer to you