Things run away, can’t find them
Yet we remember, long, and despair their loss
Maybe one day the lost are found again
But does their reoccurrence make peace
With the sorrow when they were departed?
A flower in first bloom
That sign of regeneration
Sublime and terrible
Poignant sign of the constant regeneration
The cyclical re-enchantment of our universe
Coupled with all those past nirvana’s
The faded pedals from seasons past
Fallen to the ground, decayed, and now dust
Reminder of the fragility of life, and, ultimately, its passing
Heart wrenching: our fallibility
Heartwarming: our potential
Yet, now, in the season of our bloom,
What do we make of it?
What does it mean to be in season?
Feeling these first pulls of gravity on our branch
Knowing that no longer we grow
No
All we are is the vibrant color we were destined to be
Here, and now
This mode of perfection we’ve striven towards
And again
And again
What do we make of it
What is it to be here, and now?
To have this potential
This potential that is the meaning of our lives
Here I am, now, typing at a laptop
Just as you, yourself, are somewhere
Not here, not near, but real
Young and still vibrant
Reading and watching those people who were once like us
Seasons past, faded, and failed
It will never strike us
States our hearts
While our subconscious mind moves the boundary
Of where success lies
Deeply
Into the nether lands of the easily attainable
The low hanging fruit that have been picked clean
Maybe there is still a little nectar left
But we could have ascended new summits!
To use this momentum given to us by gods graces
This momentum that is a universal gift
Shared by you, me, and the other
To metamorphose, to grow wings, to fly
There once, once upon a,
Upon a something
A belief that YES, it is attainable
Perfection
Bliss
Magic
And now
That we are in bloom
The reality of our downfall
Our eventual decline: fall to the ground, decay, and then dust
Constantly
Always
Hanging over our completed ascension
Yes, I can see the future
We over-ripen: drop at our peak
Accomplishing only those things
That were to be the subject within our destinies story
On the road to something greater
Brighter
Or something
Don’t trust these monologues
Brains frazzled, disconnected and afraid
Looking for poignancy and romance
Looking for a reason
Yes, to accept failure
But there can only be the aesthetic or the real
Rarely does a man find both
The failure of this poem
And a life without passionate words
Comes with the gift of rapture in the waking world
No one may learn the secret colors of this, my private mind
But what is wrong if it is only I who have the pleasure of their revelation
To swim deeply in those waters I aspire to communicate
To share is noble
To hoard is selfish
But if I hoard
I get more of these dreamtime fantasies I wish to propagate
Staying in the reservoir of my own soul
Fuck any god who may despair at my case
Beauty is what I crave
My beauty is mine
And mine alone
Or something
Is this the truth?
My mind feels no revelation
This is not what feels real
Just another layer of fallacy
Another satellite
Orbiting the truth
Never coming closer on its gravitational arc
Yet, not so far away from my nucleus
Maybe an intelligent man
Could find the measure of me
Using this disparity of my lies
But I am no such man
And I tell you,
It is not worth your time in bloom
To try to understand me
Rather, delve into your own mind
Those waters with endless depth
Or
Better yet,
Make that art that must be real
That personally,
I am to imperfect to truly grasp
Or something
Yes, that is something
This feels real
Something to sink my teeth in
To devour
Yet
Again, it is not all true
Help me
help me
To be that man that I still want to be
To escape this disorganized cycle
Arrogance and despair
Despair and arrogance
Take away self worth
Realize you are nothing
An ant has the same validity
From the perspective of the closest star
As whatever our greatest accomplishments may be
Oh,
It is true
Dark, dark, dark
The truth is dark
Yesterday and today,
Yet for tomorrow
May we look towards the future
That blank page
Those unchartered shores,
May we persevere together
Fight these waves
Illusion, delusion
Yet, partially,
Overwhelmingly real
May we fight like men
Men still in our prime
Gifted with the same natural virtues of our forebears
Perhaps more so
May we add to the litany
May we rise to the top of the peaks we idolize
Fantasize
And weep for
May we go there, and lay a thin sprinkling of dust
Adding nothing meaningful
Yet the same amount added as those before us
May we serve the future
No matter how imperfectly
Give them a fresh layer,
Imperceptibly higher,
Yet still, microscopically, a higher vantage point
And if it fails to sate,
A thin excuse for a noble life
Our effort will not be in vain
Perhaps that light dusting we laid
Will be the final critical layer
Or close to that critical layer
That will raise our descendants
To that fantastic revelation
That nirvana all dreams are made of
Where they will be lifted from the darkness
And for the first time
The very first time
See that ethereal light of truth
In all her glory