Nualapoem (poetry)

clouds or fog
heavens or the sky
just perception
alterable as rain becomes lovely
going from the dark storm
to that soft pitter patter
on the roof just before sleep

we have to go somewhere
there is an attempt to go somewhere
just don’t know where yet
don’t even know why
but it is a type of truth to try
and try we will
yet inevitably unsuccessful
trying vainly to speak that language of eyes
in a description of the colors of another spectrum
we will fail
and we will fail again
and again, and again
another futile raid on the inarticulate
another lovely attempt squandered
yet: the emotion does exist
I promise
it is everywhere
touchable, breathable
just never on my tongue
so let’s waste words and time
let’s take a look again, one more time
and see if we can describe
the indescribable

holloweyes everywhere
unblinking, where can we stare
and be stared back at
real recognition
a futile life’s quest
yet sadly alluring
all we have is miscommunication
the ununderstood foreign
sublimely,
like standing on a cliff
one has the choice to stare at hell
or to stare at the endless sky

yet

rapture becomes addictive
forever looking at rainbows
filled with bliss forever
never thinking
what other wonders
the endless sky is full of

yet

you have to realize a truth
not all truth, but one forceful wave
crossing through an endless sea
it is stated like this:
cast aside seconds
those boxes trapping perception
as one casts aside miles on a walk
or the word count when one speaks
think only of the journey
long or short not a meaningful variable.
with infinite as a measure
there is just forever
and what you make of it

so now make something
make me something
please
see me and love me
universally regard me as a someone
a someone to read about in books
a someone to see in the stars
yes please, really, gnash with that primordial egoism
it is in us all
all one should really want
perfection
and for all the others
the non us’s
with their stares biting into our souls
tearing into our serenity
ignorant of personal mental causality
judges without giving a chance
lacking the realization:
there has to be bravery
easy to look at the different as a liar, sinner
evil
truly
on knees a true god begs

children of men: Arise!
express the true revocation of fear
be strong enough!
to want to be outwardly perfect
yes

yet

you must cast temptation aside
you must embrace chants of sinner
may the hurled stones strike flesh
it’s all nothing
to be yourself
to be true to yourself
to attain inner perfection
to live with honesty
yet, devastatingly
with honesty comes epiphany
we`re all chanters

lost in a mob
singing singing
desiring what everyone desires
but time sees us all the same
waiting to grind us down
run through the mill of endless routine
at great cost trying to maintain perpetual motion
forever in that abstract direction FORWARD
there is another way
there has to be another way
Life for the livers must exist
lie or truth: no difference
there can still (must) be magic
there is still love in the world
atom to tree to moon to constellation
change the course
fuck forward
look for the promised fruits of an afterlife
in a re-enchanted reality
where every prayer for beauty
is answered with a blink of the eye

so heart
yes my heart
my mirror, my special mirror
the window through which I see what I’m not
as entropy carries us into chaos
and marriage as likely as universal absence
I beg you
touch what it is to live
to live a life that tears realities fallacies to pieces
pray in the temple of your consciousness
pray like this:
I will not suffer under the pursuit of happiness
benevolent temptress: I renounce
yes
I will leave perfect happiness as a fallacy
like perfectlove and perfectart
I will chase nirvana
and when she finally deigns to see me
insignificant little me
I will let her in
jesus allah Buddha nature
she is all the same
and heavenly
she will satisfy
I exist
I exist
I exist

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