Trying to dream (poetry)

Let me leech this anger
Where did it come from
Cloudy day in my head
Cloudy day cloudy day
You all go away
Nobody is asking for clouds
I want I want it to be a good day
Why am I cursed with a bad day
Look left look left
There are blue skies over there
Why can’t I look
Why do I look at the darkness
Who wants the darkness
Dark
Dark
Darkness
Anger
Sadness
Wake up
Look
Motherfucking left
It is so close
Rage
Rage
At myself
Weak
Too weak to be happy
Too weak to be happy
Too weak to be sane
This aint aint aint
Aint what
Come on big man
Name something by it’s name
So what is it?
So happy to bitch, yo?
Make you feel better, better?
Is this who you dreamed of being?
Do you even dream
Yeah!
Everyone talks about dreams
But what if you don’t dream
What if you don’t love
Don’t want touch
Oh, why not dream?
Why don’t you love?
Why not feel a touch
Look right
The darkness
The darkness
Each splash of light like a lighting bolt
Shocking
Waiting for the aftershock
The shockwave
Ouch ouch
Pains we make for ourselves
Eyes that don’t dilate quickly enough
Hearts that don’t touch
Voices too close to screams
The wild man
It aint aint aint me
Can’t we escape ourselves?
Whoever said we’re trapped in our heads
Why just this head
Why just this head
Why not another head
Is it narcissism
To think that this pain must be just just for me
Is it narcissism
To think I have the pleasure
Of losing my mind
Lemme lemme
Lemme lose it
Whosever said
That this be’s what we wantse it to be
I read about heaven
But all that gold
it sounds so cold
Sure hell might be hot
But isn’t there another way?
Whysa whysa
Couldn’t we think of something better
Better than heaven
Who dreams about heaven
What a boring dream
Why’d we
Divide ourselves
I like the sinners
Shouldn’t we forgive them
And
If I’m a sinner
I’m sorry
Sorry sorry
Never meant to hurt nobodys
Dream die
I aint I aint
I’m sorry sorry
Get out of my head
I didn’t invite myself in
How the hell did you get here
Oh
Let’s just get closer to disappearing
Farther away from love
What is love
What is love
Could I ever write a love poem
Is that in my id?
Should I just hold more love in my heart?
Or less
Scream into my mind
All the answers I can’t answer
You’re here
You’re here
What’s it like
To be here in my mind
Any questions?
I’m not there yet?
Will maybe be closer in a dream
But then I don’t dream?
What’s a dream like
What’s a dream like

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