fallin (poetry)

At the forgetting of the moment
At the loss of the path
Praying for a tomorrow
Like today, but not today
Like yesterday, but not yesterday
The memory of a simple flower
A smell that you have forgotten
Until that time it rises again
Bloomed flowers
Faded and decayed
Memory lost
Memory never really had
We the lost ones
What is the right drug
What is the right sadness
In a crowded room
With a smile on your face
Where have all the dreams gone
Well run dry
Was the well ever full
Was it just an illusion
A dream
A fallacy
What do we pray for
Why do we pray for
Into your mind
Away from your heart
There was something that was supposed to be here
A dream we were supposed to have
Has the world become more sepia
Or is today just a dusty day
Let us not bother anyone
Let us not bother anyone
Be a good person
That is maybe the only truth
The only truth worth chasing
But it is not the way the world is
I see you
Can you see me
I’m sorry
Sorry for the darkness
Did, did, did, I hurt you
Or is it worse
Did all my grandeur do nothing
But irritate you
Wasn’t there SUPPOSED
To be something more than this
Dream bigger
Dream again
Where are my dreams
Where is the rising of the light
Retrogade: again, I am here
Was there any advancement?
Is there a purpose, to having been here before
Or will the same mistakes just happen again
Feedback loop
Feedback loop
Is this it
Gone through a complete orbit
Knowing that the future
Will be on the same ellipsis
Be better
Be better
Be better
Be more of less things
Be less of more things
Wake up in the morning
Sun already risen
The soft morning light, gone
Of course there is regret
But the logic has become atrophied
The same defences that proved inadequate
Are today again being used to protect the castle
The walls will not hold
The breach will happen again, again, again
Exactly where we knew it would come
Life nothing but the act of living
Death nothing but reincarnation
The next time I’m a flower
Will I still be a doomed flower
Searching for light and water and a fair piece of ground
Did it all prove to be so
Fucking meaningless
Was it decided
That life was just this
Nothing more
Nothing less

Trying to dream (poetry)

Let me leech this anger
Where did it come from
Cloudy day in my head
Cloudy day cloudy day
You all go away
Nobody is asking for clouds
I want I want it to be a good day
Why am I cursed with a bad day
Look left look left
There are blue skies over there
Why can’t I look
Why do I look at the darkness
Who wants the darkness
Wake up
Motherfucking left
It is so close
At myself
Too weak to be happy
Too weak to be happy
Too weak to be sane
This aint aint aint
Aint what
Come on big man
Name something by it’s name
So what is it?
So happy to bitch, yo?
Make you feel better, better?
Is this who you dreamed of being?
Do you even dream
Everyone talks about dreams
But what if you don’t dream
What if you don’t love
Don’t want touch
Oh, why not dream?
Why don’t you love?
Why not feel a touch
Look right
The darkness
The darkness
Each splash of light like a lighting bolt
Waiting for the aftershock
The shockwave
Ouch ouch
Pains we make for ourselves
Eyes that don’t dilate quickly enough
Hearts that don’t touch
Voices too close to screams
The wild man
It aint aint aint me
Can’t we escape ourselves?
Whoever said we’re trapped in our heads
Why just this head
Why just this head
Why not another head
Is it narcissism
To think that this pain must be just just for me
Is it narcissism
To think I have the pleasure
Of losing my mind
Lemme lemme
Lemme lose it
Whosever said
That this be’s what we wantse it to be
I read about heaven
But all that gold
it sounds so cold
Sure hell might be hot
But isn’t there another way?
Whysa whysa
Couldn’t we think of something better
Better than heaven
Who dreams about heaven
What a boring dream
Why’d we
Divide ourselves
I like the sinners
Shouldn’t we forgive them
If I’m a sinner
I’m sorry
Sorry sorry
Never meant to hurt nobodys
Dream die
I aint I aint
I’m sorry sorry
Get out of my head
I didn’t invite myself in
How the hell did you get here
Let’s just get closer to disappearing
Farther away from love
What is love
What is love
Could I ever write a love poem
Is that in my id?
Should I just hold more love in my heart?
Or less
Scream into my mind
All the answers I can’t answer
You’re here
You’re here
What’s it like
To be here in my mind
Any questions?
I’m not there yet?
Will maybe be closer in a dream
But then I don’t dream?
What’s a dream like
What’s a dream like