Closer (poetry)

Flowing down towards somewhere
Always in motion
No standing still
A fear that all this is
It’s just orbit
Fighting gravity
The feeling of infinite
To find out it’s just an ellipsis
Forever circling the sun
No closer to the light
No farther to the dark

Atrophied, a statue
When do I cry?
So strong so strong
What a lie
Frozen in ice, cold in a warm world
No fire in my heart
Don’t confuse paralysis with bravery
Praying to be the sun
Lost on the dark side of the moon

The words don’t lead anywhere
A trail of bread crumbs
Why would anyone bring them here?
Is this the point?
Is this the goal?
Madness or genius,
Or worse, just lazy
A gratuitous excuse
Fingers pecking
Looking for the hand of god
To help write a prayer
And what if there is no god here
What if god has left?

Can you feel my confusion?
Can you feel my confusion?
Always lost
Maybe lost is okay
How can you ever find
If you first don’t know
Lost as a form of being found
Confusion as a form of madness
And madness as a form of love

I was gone
I thought it was done
But there is still some form of energy
Still a feeling of what is being said
Isn’t what I am trying to say
The window is dirty
And there are shadows on the other side
But what do they mean?

Alice, do we go down the rabbit hole together?
No fear here, just a following of the rhythm
Never been able to dance
But there is a rhythm to life
Electricity floating through the air
Be honest and find yourself levitating
Adam and Eve
Were never in the garden
The garden was in them
So close, to my most secret mind
Yet here it is, so close
With the wall the highest
Into the heavens
Do I even have the key?
Is there even a door?
A little farther
Just a little farther
Just a little farther
Truth just an asymptote away
Reach my hand and stroke it
Or will it be sucked into the abyss
The entire universe slowly
Being sucked into a black hole
The fuel for the next universe
All of this to happen again, and again, and again
Do we get any closer?
Is this specific infinite
That brings me as far
As I’ll ever go

Why don’t I just fucking say it?
Most people just would
Take data points
Body language
Word of mouth
The easiest words to say
The oldest words to say
Its simplicity which makes it oh so pretty
The oldest lie to say
A fucking simplification
If man has one hundred words for the shades of green
How dare love be a single word
A lie to obfuscate so much reality
Into a farce, a simplification
To make the madness seem normal
And make all us confused souls
Think there is a roadmap
The paradigm is broken
Still unshifted
Lost in my head
Lost in my loneliness
Knowing that man can never go faster
Than the speed of light
But knowing the only way I’m happy
Is if the impossible rules
Are the ones that are broken