New Years Eve at Cote Sauvage (poetry)

ahhh lost scared scared lost
eyes open is this death
don’t sleep don’t sleep fight sleep never sleep
where where where
shake it off, reality
where in my dream am I right now
get out get out of me head
again and again the devil makes himself known
flee fly run away run away
where is the running to
the chase is all there is
flee flee
into a greater darkness
into the greater darkness
survival for another moment
just stay ahead just stay ahead
push push push
fly fly fly
an ant being stepped on
a crab being torn apart
birds preying from the sky
head down run run
every moment no peace
this is life this is life this if life
for the moment for all the moments

and da rage sickness
bleedin in bleedin out
we’s be
oh where’s be
oh what’s dis
ca va
comme ca
aint we sposed to
lazin in da sun
da nuthin da nuthin
a nuda try
a nuda time
Let me stare deeply into the darkness
Can I communicate me exhaustion
Here I am today, would you like to share a moment?
What are the questions asked?
Well, ahem, ahem
Exhaustion, are we both ready?

dammit wasn’t I supposed to be beyond?
Can I restart?
Have a refresh on this ritualization?
Yes, we stare into existence together?
Having the hope, the hope.
A hypothesis, we are the heros.
A belief, in ourselves.
Fragile, if we let ourselves be.
Fragile, if we let ourselves be.
Fragile, find the way through.
Strength, can we find the way through.
What is the purpose of this moment now
Are we at the beginning, the middle, or the end.
Oh, ca va, the flying from A to B
Patter patter
Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrr
I don’t see you
Was a sometime ago a something something
Worse better doesn’t make a damned difference
Sloppy meanderings,
Travails bowing to gravity,
Not give much of a fuck,
To be honest,
In the zone zone
Not the good zone
But let me blow
Systematic wandering
Oh, oh, oh

And here I am again
Contemplating the same revolutions
Stringing together words connected by sadness
Ca va, ca va
But, sadness is not the real emotion
A moment by the sea
Waves fill the air
I don’t know, I don’t know
I don’t know, I don’t know
Peace, or an attempt
War, or to fight against
Waves fill the air
Waves fill the air
Love in the world
Love in the air
Embrace it, as a choice
May I be the only real version of myself
That I can be
May these repetitions be an embrace
I am not, the one I should be
But I am
Today, I am
And with a moment, and the smell of salt
With waves filling the air
And war in my heart
Another day
Another day