needles (poetry)

fall down fall up
fall side to side
we’re always this new version of ourselves
a spinning top
fighting all the fighting all the
and we all fall down

Abu Ghraib, saints, god, the devil, the motherfucking devil
portions of love and hatred and wonder and fear and the motherfucking devil
amazing grace, you are, you are
rise up and sign
rise up and pray
needles in my arm
needles in my head
fly float
float away
into the clouds, into the wonder
leave the devil
leave self
leave the waking mind
for dreams, even if the dreams don’t come
when the dreams don’t come
woe is warm
still can smile
can’t you see there is no heart?
but where is the heart?
who is this vessal?
not dead not alive not satan not god
not a thing
not even empty
woe is woe
is wonder is god
is the devil is home
is wonder is wander is fear
the fear the night what is nightime
god was in the air
but how to touch it


leave it? that would be stupid. What other worlds are there?
Why would it be any easier
Any less magical
And less terrible
God is in the air
Let me breath, let me gasp, let’s try, let me try
oh shit oh lord oh god oh my oh my
why does one plus one equal two?
why not three
why should a man know his own mind?
what truth is there in the entire world
except that god is in the air
slip slide fall bump your head
let the let the let the let the let the let the let the let the

hi there hi there hi there hi there
dreamer, you dreaming
is this what a dream looks like
is this what a dream feels like
yeehaw yippee
yipee feels good
why doesn’t the world have more yipyipyipee
can’t everyone give each other a hand
can’t everyone float together
can’t we make heaven
this isn’t heaven, but maybe, what if, could it be bliss
not this gentle hiss
living a nightmare
living the gloam
pull the needle out
weakness for the weak
we’re all weak
except for how we deal with it

hurt hurt hurt hurt
love what you hurt
hurt what you love
dive down dive up
go below your skin
to where god doesn’t touch
meaty flesh, just an animal
not even a sinner
no dreams here
what if you could cut yourself without cutting
would the blood be blue
blue blood royalty
call ourselves god
there is no truth there
just madness
no dream there
just madness

amazing grace, you are, you are
for all the rage and sadness
love and sorrow
truth and its opposite
amazing grace,
you are
you are

whoever said gravity is real?
do you see it, do you feel it
who is to say if you jump
you can’t hit the stars
who is to say
that if we can just find the right dream
the angel dream
the real dream
the magic dream
even if we aren’t dreamers
even if we don’t know we are supposed to dream
that we couldn’t fall fall fall

Om (poetry)

Hands shaking
I say to my hands be still
And they keep shaking
I say to my mind
And my heart
Be still
And yet

Looking forever for the lightning bolt
Oh I pray to see it
Oh to illuminate this dark beauty
I never look perfectly up
Into heaven
And see that the lightning bolt is here
Forever striking right on my head
God is here in the light
Just as he is here in the dark
And I pray
And I pray

And I said to you
Do not fear the turmoil
Hearts are not things man was made to understand
Instead lift your hands to the sky
Look up at that blue
Feel the lightning
And I ask you to say anything
Except that god is good

The flat ground clapping your feet
Sprint run fly grace god prayer magic peace
I see the peace
I know there is god
I understand
I understand

Let me fly
Let me dream
Let me scream
But not the dark scream
The light scream
The magic scream
God is in the air
Take the light and make it dark
Take the dark and make it light
I don’t ask to know the truth

Through this dark veil
I see enough of the shapes
To call them monsters
But if the veil was lifted
And the blue sky fell on everyone
Perhaps those devils
Could be called angels

The time passes
The time is passed
Oh float and still be
Remember the flavour of the magic
And even as it disappears
Remember that it is your choice for it to disappear
The aether is here
Feel it
Do not be frightened, father
Do not be frightened, child
Know that you swim in magic
And that it is here, so much
As we breathe it,
We cannot forget
Let the lightning keep striking
Let the blue sky be forever over head
Let prayer fill your mind
Prayer like this
I will be neither good nor evil
I will be neither past nor present
Happy or unhappy
All I will be, is be
One with eternity
An electron floating flying
An atom decaying and building
And all there is
In all this magic
Is the choice to look at the sky
And remember that it is blue