there (poetry)


be there be there
you okay?
spend too much of my time in my head
sorry sorry
I know, I know
no more sorrys
I don’t mean to be mean to be
I don’t mean to be me
I don’t
mean to be
anything other than the perfect for you

trying to put a word to every emotion
paint the scene
let me let me shut up
I don’t want to be that guy
you deserve all I can give you
and that should be, knowing you
knowing what you need
you need something special
aren’t we a team?
let me be a better team mate
it’s not enough, is it?
I’m not enough
Or right
don’t you know that I know it?
don’t you know that I would love you to walk away?
don’t you know,
that there be sunshine
behind my clouds
i can’t handle it
but who said that’s your problem

why do I have to be broken in my mind
why do I have to be broken
why do I have to be weak
why do I have to hurt you
push push push, push you away
it’s our fault
it’s my fault
I watch you leave
nobody blames either of us
but, god, does it hurt
I don’t blame you,
you should blame me

do we remember what
what what what
happiness used to be
remember when we had a rainbow
all those colours, in every moment
and I tore it from us
tore it from you
tore it from me

I’m trying
can you feel that
don’t make a difference
you’re right to leave
this mess
there are just better for you
let me deal with myself
on my own time
why waste your life
don’t waste your life

been awhile
lines on my skin faded
you’re at that far away table
I see you be happy
knowing the thought of me
never crosses your mind
can’t say it doesn’t hurt
maybe I still dream,
you’re smiling
you’re smiling
you’re smiling
I’m smiling

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