Category: Uncategorized

is this my ancient mind?

shadows of spirits

weren’t we once rays of light?

particle waves awakened

a force of energy unawakened

searching for purpose

retrograde miniature circles

around a blazing sun

every step a step backwards

every step a step forward

a cosmic purpose

let the dirt know that they will create flowers

let the flowers know that as they grow towards the sun

they create the matter that builds stars

let the stars know they have

that same infinite potential

to become black holes

that permeates human beings

we are in a quantum universe

where everything is possible

and we have in our hands

the entirety of the universe

to direct in any which way

that we choose

//

patterns of electromagentism

invisible to the naked eye

always the same pattern

north pole to south pole

a radiating force

patterns of light

the only thing our eyes see

a particle and a wave

photons firing

the weak force

the strongest force in the universe

but only active

in a one in a trillion chances

or at best once in a billion

the aggregation of diffused fuel

hiding its power

gravity as an outlier

all we can see

is that obviously it is all related

the aether the world works in

mass to gravity equalling the big bang

and its opposite

going through every dimension

the glue of the universe

traveling at the speed of light

bringing mass together

to form black holes

the ever expanding universe

an attempt to escape gravity

but what is gravity?

who is gravity?

the holy spirit

Asha

Dharma

a thread through the universe

can’t you see it?

what tells a flower to point towards the sun

what tells gravity to bring mass together

magnets to attract and repel

light to be the product of heat

heat to be the product of nuclear forces

nuclear forces to be where matter meets anti matter

the weak force stopping mutual annihalation

a universe still in darkness

all existence a point of light

in a sea of non existence

that once existed

we are an arrow from orions bow

knowing nothing more

than that we awakened

to all the forces we are a part of

not understanding

what our own force plays

our sense of determinism

free will

the most true quantum agent

yet discovered in the universe

Thank you god for this day
May I make the most of it
May I be as a tree, taking all the energy of the world and putting out only goodness
May I be as a flower, working towards my purpose, growing towards the sun
May I act today, as best I can
As a leader or a follower
As the first or the last
Alone or on a team
Standing on the shoulders of giants, giants standing on my shoulders
Towards a quantum optimization of myself and the world around me
To work towards, at scale, human beings being empowered to have the opportunity to achieve their cosmic purpose
As a seed can become a tree
Or gravity brings mass together
To ignite into stars, to supernova, to become black holes.
May I be unwavering and disciplined,
May I make today count
Watch over those people that I love.
Amen

it’s not about doing whatever you want
it’s about being yourself, with fear
fear of failure
fear that the world doesn’t love you
that you are cast aside
fear that you are wrong
wrong in the things that you dream about
wrong in the way you spend your life
the only gift in the universe we truly have
this life we are living today
and what if we are wasting it
it’s not about doing what you want
fear in every step
remembering the words from when I was sixteen
What if I have peaked
And every day after this day
Is just a little less bright than this day
What if I have peaked
And every day after this
Is just a little less bright than today
It’s not about doing whatever you want
it’s about being yourself, with fear
The desert laid out in front of you
No one saying the words ‘I will follow you’
No idea what is on the other side
But the flower of my heart tells me to grow towards this sun
The purpose of life is mysterious
We will not get the answers, 
Unwavering, with fear
It is time to create momentum
Defy physics
Create motion where there was no motion
Create an avalanche of cascade effects
All meaningless
As meaningless as the birth of a star
Existence our force,
Do with it as we will
Embrace the desert
Loneliness a truth in a near empty universe
That would beg to become a garden
It is time to create momentum
And every day after this day,
It is a step deeper into the desert
Doing nothing at all,
But following my heart

Just be quiet just be quiet. Their eyes are all so big, staring at me, I know they are staring why do they look at me, are they looking? How do I know if they are looking if I don’t look back. What if they are looking. Let me keep my head to the ground and keep walking forward and keep walking forward. 
Let me not lose my thread, let me just keep walking forward. The hostility of the world around me is a choice that is partially of my own making. I don’t have all the control but I have some of the control. Don’t make eye contact. Keep going, Don’t stare at my feet, stare ahead, but vacant. These streets are only as hostile as I allow them to be. Keep walking keep walking keep walking.
The street is in ruins, how can it be allowed to be so terrible? Tarmac dating back decades, holes that were old when I was born with no attempt to fill them. And a manic street pulsating and throbbing with motorcycles, cars and so many people moving in every direction imaginable. Don’t stop moving. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t walk too fast. Don’t avoid eye contact. Keep just going forward. Keep just going forward. I’m only going a little bit farther.
Suddenly someone is holding my hand tight. What the fuck. I try to slip my hand quickly away but it is stuck. I try to keep moving forward, shedding this weight on my arm before I even acknowledge it, like having a twig stuck on a shoe and just brush it off. The grip is slippery, even a little wet, but I can’t get my hand out of it.
With my other hand I reach into my back pocket and I take out a small bank note. Still without looking I pass the money to the gripping force behind me. The vice loosens and the money slips out of my hand and now I am free again. I don’t look back. I keep walking forward. 

Closer even if it hurts
Reverb of the universe
Retrogade not by math but by emotion
Backwards as forwards
This medley of seemingly unconnected things
Spiderwebbed together
Not understanding the pattern
While having faith that there is a pattern
Ra riding his chariot
Everyday
Will he bring the sun again?
And if he doesn’t
What is the call to arms
Mutated molecules
Existential orangatangs
Lost with a concept of found
As we float through the universe
Having faith that there is a pattern
Flowers know their purpose
A star knows its purpose
Man knows our purpose
Time as a fabrication
The story ended as it starts
Infinite in our atoms
Look up
Look in
Look in
Shanti
As a truth
I will have no fear
Shanti as a dead word
As every step in a direction known
Is a dead step
Shanti as all we have
Peace and enlightenment
Fear and the universe
Paradise as a concept
Going backwards to Adam and Eve
And telling them to still eat the apple
Staring at Moses
And wondering if he really wrote the first commandment
There shall be no god before me
Flying into the abyss
At the bottom of the hole
All there is to do
Is keep digging
Forwards as backwards
Forwards as upside down
There isn’t an isn’t
There isn’t an is
There isn’t an is
There isn’t an is
There isn’t an is
But there isn’t an isn’t
Om
Forward is backwards
Up
Light
Universal laws
Things fall apart
Then come together
Things fall apart
And then come together
No words to say
Language after a million years
Birdsong of our souls
Communication corrupted by social media
Singularity as an evolutionary purpose
Fear of our own extinction
Extinction our only future
Future the same as backwards
Life as a stepping stone
Human beings nothing but a river crossing
Let those that can find bliss find bliss
Evolution an act of semen fertilizing
Art the act of creation
War the act of destruction
Evolution an act of choice and destruction
The moment we are in is the tip of the spear
The moment we are in is the tip of the spear
You can say yes every moment
Yes to the universe
Yes to your heart
Yes to honesty
Yes to the true North
Yes to the truth in your heart
Yes to evolution
Yes to forwards
Yes to existence
Yes to the future
Yes to never saying no
Yes to never say I give up
Yes as the only way forward
Yes as the future
Yes as the only answer
Honesty as the only truth
Truth as the only guiding star we have
Yes